The First Year University Dump: How to Know If You’ll Be Next
Ah, it’s that time of year for many. The first real break of university. You’ve gone off to college, you’ve gotten wild at parties, and you either found someone that you really connect with or already have your lover. You two might actually be getting serious, but the sad truth that more people get broken up with over Thanksgiving break (or winter break, for those outside of the U.S.). The only people that know about this sort of thing are those that had relationships in university or those who are currently going to school there. You’ll see that your friends have begun the decent into singlehood, but you’re still standing. How are you supposed to know if you’re next on the dumping list?
Realize that Time Means Nothing
It doesn’t matter if you’ve just met while at uni or if you’ve been dating since high school, anyone is eligible for this sad dumpfest. You may be thinking to yourself that you have a longer amount of time under your belt than your friends did, but that can actually make it all the more likely. Face it, at college people tend to blossom and really find out who they are. You might be on the page you both started on, but she’s chapters ahead. If he’s been talking about all of these new things he’s doing, you could be left behind in all of the excitement.
They’re Talking About Other People
When your partner starts talking about this really interesting person that they have a lot of classes with whose teaching them really cool things and they never thought a person could be that witty then you might want to be worried. Whether they’re talking about a guy or a girl, they could have a new love interest. University exposes you two to all sorts of new and interesting people, that creates a desire and desires can’t be hidden. Your girlfriend or boyfriend may think that they’re being subtle, but in actuality they’re only telling you that they’re interested in someone else. You, being the person that they do care for on some level, mean a lot to them, so they want to secretly tell you. Don’t jump the gun and act jealous, but definitely address it. Asking if they have a crush on this new person is a legit curiosity, but if he or she acts with anger or guilt then you know the answer.
They Did Something Different…
If you’re at different schools then you might be surprised when your partner comes home with a whole new look going for them. The same surprise can happen if you’re at the same school too, that just means that it happened very fast. This new leaf that they turned is them trying to explore and distance themselves from their old look. It could be that they’ve joined a new crowd and want to fit in or really that they’re just trying to grow apart from what they used to be.
You’re Not in the Plans
Whether they’re heading home or staying at school for break, if you’re not in their plans then you should be scared. Breaks are times to visit family, and if you haven’t been invited over to theirs or gotten a confirmation that their coming to yours, that means that you’re just not even in the picture.
They Ask to Meet on a Certain Day
You could be feeling just fine about what’s going on over the break. Sure, you two haven’t discussed plans, but everything else seems normal. Until you get a text asking if you could meet on the last day of the break. Somewhere public, like a Starbucks or a park. That’s odd, why would they ask you to meet up instead of just hanging out at home or something? It’s because you’re about to get dumped. They’re going back to school, and whether you’re there or not they want to have the freedom to do what they want. That means that your time together has ended, and they chose a public place to do the dumping. If you really think that this is coming, the best way to handle it is to just let it happen. You can’t stop what someone feels, and getting dumped after the first year at university is pretty ritual for a lot of people. They change, they move on, and so should you.